15 days (post from FB)

I don't think I realize how much Sage's pregnancy effected me. I know that others have endured more, but I went 15 days knowing the "child" inside me was gone. I would never see a face, hear a cry or hold a hand. I would have nothing to hold. 15 days each day hoping today would be the last and that the labor would start and 15 days of wishing it was all a mistake and I would have a baby in 8 months to hold. 15 days of living in the numbness of just waiting. When I think back...I feel like I was waiting for months. It was only 15 days, but to me it was a lifetime. Each day felt like it wouldn't end and at the same time I didn't want it to. I was on the verge of hope and despair those days. I don't think I've recovered from it. I found peace with Kaitlin, but with Sage I think my mind is forever stuck in those 15 days."

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